Warning to Freudians everywhere, penis envy may soon be ended forever. According to the Daily Telegraph of Australia (12/26/05), the Brisbane-based company, WhizBiz has developed a device called “The Whiz” that can be strategically placed against the private parts of the female body to allow women to pee while standing up. Specially coated with a unique anti-bacterial agent, it can be reused and doesn’t even need to be wiped off.

WhizBiz spokesperson, Lachie Campbell explains, “It is coated with a high-tech plasma film developed by the British Army which repels fluid meaning women can pee, flick once to dry and stuff it in their handbag.”

The article doesn’t explain much more about the product, so it sounds like merely a glorified, self-cleaning spout. I would imagine that there must be more to it than that, since although not an exact science, urinating while standing upright does involve more than having a few inches of hose attached to one’s drain. Many experienced pissers still seem to struggle to hit the pot, for example.

Nevertheless, we’ve all listened to ladies complain about waiting in long lineups for stalls and having to crouch precariously over filthy toilets just to avoid the seats. I imagine for some The Whiz will seem like a godsend and the greatest gesture of equalization between the genders since the proverbial burning of the bra.

However, I think for many there will be a psychological block when it comes to carrying around a reusable piece of plastic into which you pee. I mean if it really comes clean with just a flick that’s incredible since all men know that this product’s all-natural fleshy counterpart often seems to have one last stubborn drop in it no matter how many flicks it’s given. Nonetheless, if it catches on, men throughout the world may rejoice never again being nagged to put the toilet seat down and women may finally be able to write their names in the snow. I guess what was once just a pipe dream has finally come true down under.