On the spectrum of sexual perversity, vanilla’s at one end and… what’s on the other? What’s the most perverse, out-there, ultra-taboo wild and kinky thing you can think of? Transsexual group BDSM? Geriatric lesbian watersports? Cross-species sex? Or—even better—cross-kingdom sex: sex with vegetables? Necrophilia? Or how about surgical fetishes, like amputation? Sexual dentistry?

Just what makes a something kinky in the first place? Take fetishes—a taste for blondes or redheads might be fetishistic, but it’s not kinky. A passion for breasts or bottoms can be a fetish, but that’s pretty unremarkable in this culture A fixation on feet or elbows, on the other hand—now we’re getting somewhere. It seems to be that oddity that does it—the extremes we’re willing to go to for sexual satisfaction. For the fetishist, the object of his desire is simply sexy. For the outsider, the farther removed the fetish is from what we think of as “normal” sexual cues and behaviors, the kinkier it seems.

Why do we find these fetishes so fascinating, though? Why do we get a little thrill knowing that Harry likes to wear women’s panties, or Sue likes the feel of a tight corset around her waist? Well, part of it is probably simple curiosity. But the real thrill—the real heart of it—is the knowledge that the fetishist is so consumed by sexuality that he or she is willing to go to some pretty far extremes to get satisfaction.

In short, fetishists tend to be very sexual people, and just knowing someone has a fetish can be pretty arousing. Whether they’re into BDSM or plush animals or white cotton panties, they see sex where we don’t, and we’re fascinated.