The Sub-Domme
I personally don’t enjoy being dominated by men, and from the looks of it on the Internet, it would seem that many people feel the same, although there are plenty of both Domme and Dom sites on the market. Being a Domme myself, I don’t particularly enjoy being submissive to women, either, but my ego could handle it every once in a blue moon, and a lot more than switching with a guy. Of course, lol, it’s never happened, so I wonder what I would look for in a Domme?
Certainly, I know myself and what I like to do, but I’m not much for receiving pain, and sexual humiliation would be completely intolerable. In fact, I can’t even imagine begging, so that doesn’t leave much space for my submissive fantasy. I suppose, metaphorically, if I’m a General, then I’d want a General, but then that doesn’t leave much dichotomy, which is sort of the cool and exciting gap between being a sadist and masochist.
When I think of this, it suddenly occurs to me that my own attitude must be the reason there are so many poseur sites. By this I mean sites that tout themselves as Femdom, only to have the supposed mistress get fucked by her sub and a few fagboy friends. This scenario has always bothered the hell out of me, but it’s beginning to make a bit more sense when I try to fantasize being submissive. It’s not so much that the Mistress is fake, but rather, it’s another role that perhaps dominant men or women, when fantasizing about losing sexual control, can handle more for the simple reason that they regain their sense of control and dominance in the end of a video.
It’s a thought anyway, and maybe even one to ponder for Dommes/Doms and even subs that want new scenery.
November 25th, 2005 at 10:13 am
I really haven’t explored this area a lot. I’ve had girlfriends who’ve liked to be restrained in various ways, but none that have been domme. Actually, there was this time where I was strapped to a headboard . . . but that was moons ago!
December 2nd, 2005 at 3:37 pm
LOL. The rest of your story would be fun, I bet! You stopped too soon.
Regarding the Dom/Domme divide, though … It has always intrigued me that many male Dom’s do not want to be fucked by their femme subs, so it’s of intrigue to know what makes anyone think that female Domme’s want to be fucked by their male subs? As I said in my blog, isn’t that what General’s are for?
Getting back to your experience … People switch and that’s cool. Some do not, and that’s cool, too. Maybe it’s more difficult for Dom’s to switch than it is for Domme’s?
It would be interesting to hear from both POVs.
December 2nd, 2005 at 6:46 pm
I’m a dom but I’m not into elaborate scenes. I’m much more into the physical end of it. I’ve let my sub have her day, but I’m not about to put up with all that humiliation and lick- my- boot nonsense. Basically what I want to see is how she’ll use me for her pleasure if she were in control, and in the regard it works very well.
Eventually, though, I get to a point of excitement where I have to take over again, and she seems to like that too.
I don’t know much about Dommes and the Domme dynamic, but i always assumed their control was more psychological than physical, and that when they domme a man, it’s usually consensual on his part. To me, that’s not quite “real.” Or am I wrong?
December 4th, 2005 at 6:20 pm
How as a male Dom do you let her ‘USE” you? … How does she, the fem sub) have her day with you? Is it pleasureable in those few moments before you gain control again?
Do you let her fuck you? And is that (being fucked) not the ultimate submission?
Just questions Doc.