I must admit that I was a rather bad boy on New Year’s Eve and drink too much. I should be more responsible and demonstrate more self-control but sometimes I think I need a good firm spanking. Maybe, that’s because I’d rather be one of those Spankaholics than be an alcoholic.

I’ve generally don’t need guidance in how to better cope with stress than by overeating or drinking wine like it’s water. I know that it isn’t effective to escape in some kind of stupor of sugar, fat and alcohol. However, the holidays are a dangerous time since along with awkward social situations and hectic schedules; they come complete with every sort of indulgence for enabling complete public self-destruction.

Nevertheless, although I was a tad overzealous at Christmas time with a friend’s family, I was relatively well behaved. However, when I went with her and her boyfriend to a party after dinner on New Year’s I was more than just a glutton. It was one of those times when I entered a roomful of people whom I didn’t know well and they all seemed to look at me with utter contempt.

It was strange since my gut feeling was mutual, so I quickly turned my attention to having a few more glasses of wine and a few cocktails while I ate about two dozen deep-fried pieces of breaded cheese. I have little tolerance for alcohol despite drinking occasionally too much and too fast.

Luckily, otherwise I have the constitution of a horse when I have lots to eat. I wasn’t sick, I didn’t pass out but I did fall asleep fast. They woke my up for Times Square ball drop on TV and then I took another two-hour nap before heading home.

My friend who invited me was hardly impressed the next day and gave me a right dressing down as they say in the UK. Anyway, I admitted that I didn’t like the people at the party and she admitted as much the same back but said that perhaps I could have found a more intelligent way of trying to relax.

It made me think of an ex who after I went mad making Christmas dinner and polished off the leftover wine, suggested that I was reminiscent of an even worse ex-lover that predated me. Lest old mistakes be forgot.

It was a sobering deed. I of course retorted that if I had been so bad, maybe I just needed to be punished a bit. Alas, the response that came was the same as so many of my exes have said when I’ve misbehaved. I’d like to give you a write kick in the pants and smack on the ass, but you’d like too much, so what would you learn?