Have you ever known someone who felt that antiperspirant wasn’t a necessary evil? I have. I don’t know if it was my much older partner’s quasi-Marxist-Leninist, pseudo-hippie past or if it resulted from spending too much time in Europe and my smelly lover in turn believing it was continental to forego the deodorant. Any attempt on my ex’s part to believe the smelly pits went unnoticed was complete denial.

Some standards of hygiene are mostly based on accepted norms of whatever society in which one lives. Many parts of the world would not be offended by the untreated smell of the human body. The sensitivity to the ripeness of humankind from which many of us suffer merely results from living amongst folks who cover up any natural scent with perfumed soaps, deodorants, lotions, cologne and even dryer sheets.

The above statement may be true. However, the argument is moot unless one day, we all decide to hell with it; we’ll smell the way Mother Nature intended. Most of us will never be exposed to natural stench en masse. Besides, the cosmetics companies don’t want to give up such a lucrative trade as everyone covering their sweat with sweet artificial enhancements.

In the case of my former paramour, I did eventually adjust. In fact, my ex’s natural fragrance acted as an aphrodisiac during times apart. My imagination (and my hand) soon relieved whatever my separation anxiety after a simple whiff of a dirty T-shirt. I was transported into the (under) arms of my dearly departed as if we’d already been reunited by this pungent reminder.

I’m not sure during my loved one’s trips away that fellow passengers on the plane felt the same libidinous inspiration from the reek of perspiration.

Case in point according to Local 10 News (09/27/06), on flight from Lima, Peru to Miami, Florida, a Japanese tourist, 56, sprayed cologne on a 20-year-old Peruvian he felt smelt bad. No charges were laid but flight attendants had to pull the fighting pair apart.

One wonders if the man from Japan is tempted to wrestle a young man every time he smells BO mixed with his own cologne.