We’ve all wondered at times after a breakup whether we really knew our partner as well as we thought we did. However, after almost two decades of marriage you’d think it inevitable that one would discover at least some of a spouse’s secrets no matter how guarded he or she was. How would you feel if after 17 years you found out that your husband was in fact, more appropriately called your wife?

That’s what happened to an English woman according to the Daily Mail (05/15/06). Her transsexual husband referred to in court as Mr. J was born as a woman but before the age of 30 he had his breasts removed and underwent hormone treatments. He then met a young heiress, ten years is junior and married her.

During their 17-year marriage the transsexual man used a homemade sexual aide to replace a penis during the couple’s sexual relations. The wife known in the case simply as Mrs. C apparently didn’t know the difference.

Since the marriage happened in 1977 long before sex reassignment surgeries allowed for birth certificates to be changed officially recognizing a change in gender, the marriage was considered nullified despite its legal feasibility in current law.

The couple had two children conceived by artificial insemination with donor sperm and again Mr. J has no legal claims to parental rights due to his female status under law at the time of their conception. The transsexual spouse also lost his bid to partake in the accumulated wealth of the marriage including the family home worth an estimated 400 000 British pounds (over $750 000 US).

During the hearing, Lord Justice Ward described the marriage as a “travesty” stating that many people would find it quite astonishing that in 17 years of life together Mrs. C did not realize she was living with a woman.

Personally, with the average UK marriage lasting 11 years (2002 statistic), maybe the secret to making a marriage last longer is a mix of long-term deceit and the use of innovative sex toys.