I used to have an ex-girlfriend that insisted that when we had sex I was only allowed to use one very specific brand of condoms. It was a well-known one for sure, but let’s just say, that unlike the City of Troy there were no way my boys were getting out for a look around once we penetrated my Helen’s walls so to speak. They were the thickest, smelliest condoms imaginable.

Besides being made of white rubber that after adding only the slightest friction began to reek like a tire fire, they were almost opaque, making my penis look as if it were an undercooked bratwurst. You could barely make out the normal color of flesh below that pallid membrane.

Even when my member was swollen to its full potential, you’d have a better chance of seeing it through a pair of all-cotton briefs underneath my corduroy trousers than through the surface of those seemingly paranoid prophylactics. I certainly had no problem with my girl wanting us to practice safe sex, but considering her natural inclination to great dampness down below, it really way like taking a shower in a raincoat.

Thankfully, she never asked me to double-bag it. Apparently, the folks at My Science Project figured out that you could put up to 625 condoms over the same dildo. There experiment added 5.5 inches around the girth of the dildo and 9.5 inches to the length. As they observed that just goes to show you that one size really does fit all, even if buying the extra large makes one feel special.

They make a special note at the end of there experiment to not try this at home with a real penis. Apparently, it might lead to severe penile injury. They do in fact repeat the warning a second time, just in case, you’re only think with your dumbstick I suppose.