I’ve been consuming vast quantities of goodies as of late. It’s combination of the holiday season and having given up smoking about two months ago. If I’m not careful, I’m going to be giving the old fat man a run for his money. I’m slightly less jolly though. Anyway, despite enjoying many of the fine products made from the magical cocoa bean and finding that it might just be a replacement for smoking if not sex, I’ve never been tempted to smear it all over as they do on It’s Just Chocolate.

For myself, I can handle the idea of peeing being kinky fun but personally, I draw the line at other waste products. However, maybe in my case, my particular upbringing has always made the act of expelling excrement to be considered as particularly distasteful. I can even remember my grandmother would freak out if the word bathroom was even uttered at dinnertime. She would only refer to “the restroom” and never anything implying what might be occurring besides resting there.

Apparently, according to the AP (12/20/06), not every culture thinks the necessary deed of relieving oneself of unneeded bulk is something so shameful. In Spain, in fact many nativity scenes include a statuette of “El Caganer” or the great defecator in the Catalan language. He’s a peasant that is seen crouching behind a rock with his bare bottom exposed alongside the shepherds, Mary, Joseph and the babe in a manger.

Another feces related tradition has boys and girls beating a hollow log full of candies called the tio while singing a song urging said wooden effigy to defecate its sweet treats for them. There’s also pastries sold in many bakeries that are in the shape of a heap of poo. All these symbols of shitting have descended from an agricultural past where defecation was seen as a sign of fertility and health.

I guess if you’re Spanish, the lyrics to the old Christmas song are changed. It’s not beginning to “look” a lot like Christmas. Instead, it’s beginning to smell a lot like Christmas - literally - everywhere you go!