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How To Explore Your Fetish

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Over the last decade or so the idea of sexual fetishes has begun to make its way into the consciousness of the general public. Some things that once might have been considered “weird” or “not normal” are now things that more and more people are admitting to finding exciting or at least a little less taboo.

Do You Have A Fetish?

A sexual fetish is defined as “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.” And maybe some of you are thinking that that doesn’t really define you but there are some things you enjoy that might be a little different from “the norm.”

Well, maybe your desire doesn’t reach the level of “fetish” but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t explore it. And then there’s kinky, “involving or given to unusual sexual behavior.” Maybe what you like is more in line with that definition. Or maybe you have never done anything and are just curious.

Regardless of what you like or where you land on the “fetish” and “kinky” scales, you should take some time to explore them in a safe and consensual way and lucky for you there are many ways to do exactly that these days.

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Where to Begin?

If you are well aware of your fetishes and kinks and have spent years exploring them than you probably can skip this step, but for those of you still new to these things there are plenty of places to start learning.

You can read articles about fetishes and join communities and sites dedicated to fetishes and kinks. I would however, not jump right into the fet/kink dating sites. These sites are geared towards people who are looking to meet up to explore their kinks together and if you are still new, sites like that could be very overwhelming.

However, once you have read a little and talked to people (there are lots of very nice and helpful people in the fetish community) then going for face-2-face meetings will be something to do next. Whether it be from a fet/kink dating site or via group gatherings organized by the fetish community in your city or town.

Real Life Could Take Time

While there are lots of ways to meet people for fetish and kinky play in person, that doesn’t mean you are going to find people to meet right away.

For anyone that has done online dating of any kind you will know that just because there are tons of options doesn’t mean meeting someone you click with is easy. And the same holds true for fetish and kinky dating. Just because someone you meet also enjoys feet or stockings or D/s play doesn’t mean you will have anything else in common.

Often a fetish/kink connection can seem very strong regardless of any other kind of attraction or interest but be aware of that and don’t feel pressured to be with someone just because they have the same kink as you. There are other people out there who also like what you like so finding someone that you feel comfortable with beyond that is worth the wait.


Watch Porn

Beyond just talking to people and fantasizing about things and while you wait to find someone that you feel comfortable enough with to explore your ideas with, you should watch porn!

I think everyone should watch porn, but if you are interested in any kind of fetish and/or kink then you should definitely be watching porn. Whether you are a long time kinkster with many real-life experiences or a total newbie with just your imagination, you should be watching porn.

Yes, there are a lot of sites out there catering to a lot of different fetishes. Just look at all the sites reviewed on Fetish Fish and all the different categories. It can be overwhelming but at least with a site like that you get help weeding out the good from the bad which is a good start.

Also, if your proclivities lean towards the BDSM world there is probably no better place to start than with the folks over at Kink.com. These people have been leaders in the kink BDSM community for years and they really know what they are doing. They do it right and you could learn a lot from reading and watching their content.

They have even created “educational” videos covering all aspects of BDSM given the huge 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and how that has brought many new and curious people to the kink world.

Live Cam

Live cam websites have been around for a while now, but they have gotten better and much more viable as the technology has improved.

I remember spending time on live cam sites years ago when the internet connections weren’t as fast as they are now and when webcams weren’t what they are today either and it wasn’t great. Sure, it was exciting to see some chick performing for me live while I chatted with her, but that was nothing compared to today with the high-speed connections and the HD webcams.


Also, as technology has improved and more people have been spending money at live cam sites, more performers have made their way onto such sites so it is really a win-win for everyone involved and it can be for your kink and fetish desires as well.

There are tons of live cam sites out there but as an example I checked out Juicy Webcams and sure enough these folks have a BDSM section that filters up all the performers who have BDSM/fetish/kinky tendencies and are willing to indulge yours. Just head into a chick’s free chat and see what she is up for.

Tell her your fantasies and fetishes and let her tell you how she can help fulfill and explore them. These women have probably heard everything so don’t be shy. Just be polite and you will find that they are generally very helpful and want to please.

Watching fetish porn is great, but you might find that doing it like on cam with a performer who is focused specifically on you and your kinks is next-level awesome!

And to finish things off how about a video of a British dude asking random people on Venice Beach what their sexual fetish is:

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