I’ve worked in corporate environments before, where they try to encourage a sense of teamwork and camaraderie with various silly team-building exercises. I’ve always managed to make excuses about having too much work or spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom just to avoid the forced “participation” so reminiscent of dodge ball in grade school gym class. I’m not a team player I guess but I missed the boat on bankrolling my lack of spirit into a lucrative lawsuit.

Perhaps I’ve always worked for the wrong companies since one American corporation took a more hands on approach to employees in a blatant lack of common sense that was bound to lead to litigation according to a Reuters story (04/29/06) . In a slightly frat-like atmosphere, one Fresno branch office of Alarm One Inc. had the tradition of spanking any employee that showed up late for a sales meeting.

The incidents occurred in 2003 and stopped as soon as executives at company headquarters in Anaheim, California, received a complaint, Alarm One Chief Operating Officer Patrick Smith said. Nevertheless, former employee Janet Orlando, 53, claims she was embarrassed, permanently scarred and mentally anguished by the immature antics mostly performed in rooms full of males ages 18-24.

A jury initially awarded her $500,000 in compensatory damages for lost wages, emotional distress and medical expenses. However, after further deliberation, the jury added another $1.2 million in punitive damages. Previous suits brought by two other former employees were settled out of court.

The rather unorthodox practices were the brainchild of sales people from within the home security company’s Fresno office, which has since closed despite its special sales-building initiatives.

I’m sure there were extenuating circumstances involved that made a middle-aged woman subject herself to such treatment rather than quitting on the spot. For $1.7 million, maybe it was worth her dignity to stay after all.

Personally, I had one corporate trainer who made us sing songs if we showed up late after lunch. It kept me on time let me tell you. However, having to listen to bad singing latecomers punished even the rest of us that were on time.

Conversely, if I knew I was going to get a good firm paddling, I’d probably never be on time for anything.