Just looking through some of the reviews in the categories that fascinate me the most, when I stumbled across one called Pierced Fetish. I’m sure I told you all once already that as much as I’ve lived through some serious pain that time I broke my pelvis, I’m still rather lame when it comes to wanting voluntarily face any discomfort. Granted, I guess it’s partly as I assume that the piercing artist probably isn’t going to give me any morphine, as I did get in the hospital when I had my accident.

I’m also a lame-o because at 35, I’m already thinking of whether I’d feel the same about a pair of nipple rings when I’m 75. I just can’t picture the nurse wiping off drool from the front of nursing home gown, while she wonders what those hard bumps are hanging from my presumably flabby-by-then man boobs. The same goes for a bellybutton ring, which I picture as disappearing in a cloud of lint as my beer gut expands.

Meanwhile, in present day knowing my luck instead of increasing the sensitivity of any pierced part, instead I’d lose all sensation completely. Once you’ve broken your pelvis, you’re thankful not to be dead, but also tend to think ahead before just doing anything that risks physical injury. No matter how much more mundane a piercing is than say it was for me to try breaking into my second-floor apartment when I forgot the key before I fell a full-storey onto solid concrete instead.

I got a surprising eyeful when I checked out that site’s members’ area preview, since I wasn’t expecting to see such an elaborate pussy pic in any of the frames. However, there’s one there in all its shiny and inky glory. The chick doesn’t just have one clit ring, but her entire labia are covered in multiple thick-balled hoops. There’s a glorious butterfly over her womanhood that seems to rise from the metal conglomeration around her love hole.

The type of jewelry she chose reminds of the ones dudes use for a heavy-duty Prince Albert, but there again, I’d be scared out of my mind that the constant stimulation would cause desensitization for me in the long run. Besides, since the hole in my ear never grew back, again I picture that poor nursing home staff holding me steady while I straddle atop the bedpan and spraying like a garden sprinkler, much to everyone’s chagrin.

Anyone, maybe that’s why I find the stuff so sexy folks, I might see it as possibly foolhardy for me to try, but secretly admire the bravery of those less cowardly (not to mention pessimistic about old age) then me.