I’m sure you’ve heard of someone having a cleaning fetish. I can assure you that it’s not me. I live in my own messy and very dusty world, hoping that if ever I do one day meet the love of my life, that the person will whip me (perhaps literally, yes) into shape or better yet just do it for me since I am very good at being grateful.

I’ve heard coke addicts sometimes go on maniac cleaning binges but taking up blow seems like an extreme way to motivate the cleaning habit.

Some adult personal ads advertise folks who will come and clean house naked, free of charge for their jollies. Most are men but I’m sure these kinky submissive dudes know how to clean tile grout with a toothbrush and industrial-strength bleach while wearing nothing other than their birthday suit and a smile.

Honestly, the ugliest individual cleaning house would still be a turn on. However, I just can’t be sadistic enough to force anyone to scrub the shine for no dime back into my place. I need someone so desperate to clean that he forces his way into my home (preferably with his own cleaning products in tow).

I had a good snicker over a West Virginia crime that never happened.

According to AP (08/10/06), Debbie Phillips, President of the Putnam County School Board reported to police that an intruder had cleaned her house. Officials laughed but poor Ms. Phillips knew that something was amiss. No one she knew would take responsibility so it was all was unsettling despite the tidiness.

Eventually, the mystery was solved when a woman showed up at the front door expecting to clean house while Phillips’ son was home. It turns out that one of the cleaning woman’s clients from across town had referred her for a job nearby, since both houses looked similar and shared partial addresses, she picked the wrong one. A hidden spare key coincidentally was kept in a similar place at both homes so she had no problem “breaking in” to clean up.

What a crime she didn’t come to mine!