When I was a kid, I used to love Tiger-Tail ice cream. It was a mix of black liquorice, orange and vanilla swirls and it satisfied my young palette. These days, I’ll take a scoop of vanilla any day of the week, of course add some fudge syrup, marshmallow and nuts and I’m all set.

When it comes to sex people often think of vanilla as dull or boring, but I believe this is only true for those that truly don’t understand the nature of sensuality. My mother always said to me, “only those that say they’re bored are boring.” I wonder if this is also true for those that speak poorly of vanilla sex. After all, vanilla in itself comes in many flavours, probably more than Tiger-Tail. There are the no-named brands, there’s Neilsons, Breyers and Häagen-Dazs in my corner of the world. In a blind taste test, I know that each and every one of us would be able to detect a difference.

In sex, vanilla can often be thought of as the missionary position, and there’s really nothing wrong with this because some of the most passionate sex I’ve had has been in this position. There is oral, role-play, slapping on a blindfold, and wearing sexy lingerie involved. People forget all that surrounds it though, just as they forget vanilla ice cream and that one brand is smooth, another is rich and still another has flecks of bean.

Fetish isn’t all Tiger-tail or rocky road, I’m sure there are vanilla aspects, but vanilla does not mean dull. In the end, vanilla is about experimenting until you find the right flavour. Just as exploring can be a pretty hot ride, and like the ice-cream you begin to add fudge and pineapple, pecans, strawberries, freshly sliced mango or cookies until you get the passionate flavour that turns you on.