Maybe it’s because for most of us, it our earliest intimate albeit non-sexual association with the female of the species. Conversely, in my case, it might be because said association ended too soon and it was replaced by a bottle. A fact that Freud might say explains my love of wine, my former (fingers crossed addiction) and most obviously, my obsession with women’s breasts. That being said, my mother may be partially to blame for a breast fetish but has nothing to do with enjoying a site such as Jizz On My Jugs.

I think Freud was a dirty old man who did tend to think too often in that everyone suffered from an Oedipus complex. Although, I may always believe that sandwiches taste better when they’re made by someone else, a symptom of seeking some strange substitute for missing at time my primary caregiver’s love that’s where the complex ends. My liking of the above stated site has to do with my fascination with learning the double meaning of the phrase pearl necklace in my formative years at college not at home.

I just loved the concept of a sex act having such a refined nickname. The idea that spreading one’s sperm across a woman’s upper chest could be compared to gifting her with expensive jewelry was scandalous to my youthful perversity. Admittedly, the term still always invokes images of prim and proper ladies shedding their sweater sets to get down and dirty in Connecticut. It has a delicious irony for me. Alright, alright, I know I’m misusing the term irony but hey, we’re talking about squirting a load on some babe’s chest so you can pardon my abuse of literary language.

Speaking of abusive use of English, Reuters reported (11/15/06) that an Australian man was fined for saying a four-letter word on a flight. FARK website provides tons of news links with cleverly written headlines described the story this way, “Aussie man fined $6k for saying four-letter word on Indonesian flight. The word? It starts with a B and ends with a B and a woman can smuggle two in her shirt.”

Once I read the full story it was me who felt like a boob. He has to a pay a fine equivalent to just over $6000 US after been successfully charged under United Nations anti-terrorism regulations as when the retiree had trouble finding space in the overhead luggage bins, he asked a flight attendant, “Where do you keep the bomb?”

Maybe, he should have tried getting off by arguing that he actually whispered, “Where do you keep your penis pump?”