I remember that when I was young and in the car with my parents, my father would at times become very focused when driving. He liked his food and he didn’t like to go without it, so if we were off somewhere visiting another city and lunchtime or suppertime swung around watch out.

Once he was hungry, he became the man with a mission. The car radio got shut off, he would snap at any of us who spoke to him and he’d read every single restaurant sign or billboard advertising food from wherever we were to wherever we’d decided to eat.

The entire trip was incredibly tense until to we finally sat down to a meal. I don’t know if the old phrase fat and happy is true, but my dad proved in his case that hungry and unhappy had quite a nasty correlation.

Hunger driving one to distraction is one thing but horniness doing the same is quite another thing as recounted in a story by Reuters (09/08/06). Authorities claim that a 42-year-old man, driving an old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice, caused an accident when he ignored a yield sign and slammed into a bus.

His rescuers were astonished to find him unconscious, half-naked and with a vacuum pump on his erect pecker. Police officer Peter Polak explained, “It’s very likely he had auto-sex while driving, it is a matter of investigation. After the accident, he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it (the pump) was placed on his penis. I’ve never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues.”

I guess he was so excited about his purchase he just couldn’t wait until he got back home before trying it out. I guess the results in his case really sucked. The best part is the last line of the article, “The man was taken to hospital with head injuries.”

Which head do they mean and how could you tell since he’s obviously not the brightest person and probably needs to pump up his intellect more than his other brain stem.