If you're into or simply curious about BDSM, you have probably already seen scenes of people being flogged. If you're interested in trying it out yourself, I hope this provides a comprehensive guide.

There are many things to consider before trying out flogging with someone for the first time. What about it exactly appeals to you? Would you like to Top or bottom (dominate or submit)? What about your flogging partner? What kinds of floggers do you have available to you or would you like to use? Once you determine your preferences, as well as those of your partner, you can select some floggers and try them out.

Remember that with time and experience, your preferences can change. Even within a single scene you might find that something is not working for you the way you thought it would. It is important to always communicate with your partner and listen to their needs also. In the vein of keeping things safe, sane and consensual at all times, remember that either party can end a scene at any time. Before starting, you should also agree on a safeword or safe signal, an action the person will be capable of doing if they are gagged, for example. Any safeword or action should be very clear and not something that can be mistaken during a moment of great pain or pleasure. Always keep in mind that, like most BDSM experiences, flogging can be an intense sensual experience and there may be involuntary bodily reactions or spasms. One set of words that is often used is the green, yellow and red light concept. Green means keep going or increase, yellow means, “I’m getting close to my breaking point” and red means stop completely. You can also use a completely unrelated word, like strawberry or dinosaur.

Some people say that bottoms make the best Tops. This doesn’t mean you must spend years bottoming before being allowed to Top, but rather having an understanding of what your bottom is going through will make it easier to provide a great sensual experience for them. At the very least, before striking anyone with a flogger, you should try it out on yourself. This means testing for variations in sensation, as well as force. The best place to try it out on yourself is on the sensitive inside of your lower arm. Do this each time before you flog to remind yourself what each flogger feels like. You can also do it while you’re flogging to get an idea of what amount of force to use on your bottom. It has the bonus of leaving your bottom in anticipation of the next hit, as they can hear it making contact but don't know when or where it will strike next.

You’ll want to try out different floggers to find out what style you like the most. You must take into account your height and strength. A flogger with a very long tail will prove very difficult for a shorter person to wield and have proper aim with. Also remember that flogging is a very physical workout and you don’t want to tire out your arms with a very heavy flogger and have to end the scene before the bottom has had any fun. If you have wrist problems, like carpal tunnel, you’ll want to take extra care and wear a brace or use only extremely light floggers. In general, the smaller and thinner the flogger, including braided tails, the more sting it provides. The more tails and the thicker it is, the more of a heavy thud experience. Discuss with your bottom what they are into and looking to experience with a particular scene. It can change from day to day, or even hour to hour, so don’t assume that because one night they took an hour-long whip session that they will necessarily want that or can endure that another night.

Before you start flogging a person, you should practice against a steady object like a chair or a wall. Start on a small area first as some leather dyes may rub off on synthetic surfaces and permanently stain your furniture (speaking from experience). You’re looking to perfect your technique and aim. Aim is important because you want to avoid hitting certain parts of the body, like the kidneys, tailbone, spine (especially on thinner people), neck, belly and the head/face. The general rule is to avoid hitting anywhere there is not enough muscle to cushion the blows.

Always make sure there is enough room for you to swing your flogger in any direction during your scene. You may need to move objects or tell bystanders to stay out of your way. You’ll want to take a steady stance, with one leg in front of the other to brace yourself. The action needs to come from the arm and the wrist, not your whole body. Resist the urge to lunge forward along with your arm motion, as this can throw you off balance and also ruin your accuracy. Getting too close to your bottom can cause the ends of your flogger to wrap around the front of the body, causing unnecessary stings or even cuts. You don’t want your flogger to make contact with parts of the body that have not been adequately warmed up.

Before each contact between the flogger and the bottom, ensure that the tails are loose, not tangled together. This may mean you have to stop between each strike to untangle them and flog very slowly at first. However, with time you’ll learn to aim, strike accurately, pull back and untangle in smooth, rhythmic motions.

There are two basic flog patterns for the beginner to start with. There’s the vertical stroke and the figure eight. To make a vertical hit, take your stance, untangle the tails, throw your arm backwards so the flogger is over your shoulder and come down in one smooth motion on your subject. Keep practicing on the back of a chair or a wall until you can accurately hit a particular spot the majority of the time.

For the figure eight, you can start in the same position as above, but now you’re going to be adding a back and forth swing, bending at the elbow, making the infinity sign across the person’s back or buttocks. When you first start, it’s hard to keep a rhythm and rather than having a nice one-two beat, you might only manage to make contact once. This motion is almost like playing tennis, alternating between a forward and back-hand shot quickly. Again, continue practicing on an inanimate object to gain confidence and experience before subjecting a consenting human to this and before moving on to more advanced techniques, like Florentine flogging.

After all this practice on boring, unresponsive objects, it’s time to get into an actual scene. Once your sub is braced against a wall or restrained in a safe way, you can start with the warm up. Also consider that the bottom does not necessarily have to be tied. If you trust they won’t run away, this can add an element of fun to the scene. In this case, it is very important they understand that moving too much can be dangerous for them, as it could cause you to hit a part of them you weren’t aiming for. The room should be at a comfortable temperature and both you and the bottom should be properly hydrated, having used the toilet if needed, eaten, taken any regular medication and, in general, be comfortable and ready to concentrate on the scene. You should discuss medical issues, such as injuries, heart problems, blood-clotting disorders or being on prescription pain killers. These issues don’t necessarily mean you should not play together, but you’ll have to make certain considerations and it’s important to have all the necessary information before someone has to call an ambulance. Be prepared to check in often as it’s very possible for a person to become overwhelmed by the scene or the environment and lose consciousness.

The warm up is the most important part of the scene. A lack of, or an improper, warm up can cause unnecessary damage and pain, which includes emotional as well as physical. A warm up can be done with light strokes from a very heavy flogger or light, quick stings from a smaller one or cat o’ nine tails. It can also be done with your hands by spanking or by using a paddle. What’s important is to focus on slowly preparing the body for the physical “injury” it is about to take. Naturally and without our control, once the body starts being hit, blood and plasma rush to the surface in preparation for healing and blood-loss control. You’ll want to slowly get the various parts of the body you plan on focusing on during your scene prepared for the onslaught of what it perceives as danger. It is better to warm up more parts than fewer parts, so think in a wide area. If you change your mind during the scene and choose not to flog all the parts you’ve warmed up, no harm done. When you start lightly spanking or flogging parts during the warm up, you may notice a shine developing on the skin. This could be sweat, but it probably isn’t. It’s more likely plasma cells rising to the surface and being secreted by the pores in preparation for a large wound. This is normal and a good sign that the warm up is progressing well. What you don’t want to see are immediate red marks, bruises or open cuts. The skin should start to slowly become pinker and warmer to the touch. Do not try to escalate a scene on skin that is still cold! Properly warmed-up skin will be pink (harder to notice on dark skin) and warm. More than likely, your bottom will also be begging for more.

What you do now is up to your imagination, but do not go from very light to very heavy strokes too quickly. When you increase intensity, you should be checking in with your bottom on a regular basis to make sure it is still pleasurable. Despite you being the Top, the bottom is the one who is technically calling the shots in the scene and part of your pleasure should be in seeing that you’re providing a pleasurable experience for your bottom, as well as pushing their boundaries in a way you’re both comfortable with. Over time, you will learn how to read the person’s body language. Watch other scenes and keep a close eye on how the bottom moves or reacts and how the Top responds to it. Skin reactions, muscle twitches and tension all give you clues as to how the bottom is taking the flogging before they even verbalize it.

Learning to accurately read your bottom is an important part of scene communication. Not all bottoms are fantastic at communicating and some may not even be sure what is too much for them. Some people try to “take it” because they don’t want to disappoint, but that’s not what flogging scenes are about, unless specifically negotiated beforehand. A wise Top will use their best judgment and end a scene when it looks like things are going too far, before the bottom is necessarily able to communicate it. Being able to have mercy on your subject even when they are making the greatest effort to please you shows great maturity.

Though it can be tempting, resist the urge to repeatedly hit the same spot over and over without rest, unless you are trying to be purposely annoying. Your bottom may safeword you prematurely and it can cause great discomfort and psychological fear. Alternating spots and maintaining a good striking rhythm can put both you and the bottom into a euphoric trance. Many people relish being in the “zone” and will be able to take a longer and more intense flogging. The effect is very similar to being on drugs. Consider it a natural high.

You can alternate flogging with biting, kissing, spanking, tickling, ice cubes, electricity, fire, wax, piercing or any other action you can think of. After being flogged for a long time, ice cubes applied directly to the flogged area feel very much like being on fire. If the bottom is blindfolded, you can really play with their mind and imagination with this simple technique. Make sure you don't leave ice on any part of the skin for a long time as that can cause mild frostbite and don't perform real fire or wax play on open wounds.

It is possible that during your flogging scene, you caused the skin to break. This is more likely if you’ve accidentally wrapped around one too many times, but it can also be caused by very stiff floggers, a hard scene or simply a pimple popping. In this case, you should stop once you notice a tear or break in the skin and carry out basic first aid. You should have on hand a simple first aid kit, containing an alcohol swab, vinyl gloves and plasters, especially if there is just a small cut and you want to continue with the scene. With any leak of bodily fluids, it is important to think about the potential for disease transmission. Since there are now most likely bodily fluids on your flogger, you should retire that one by hanging it up in a dry place for at least two weeks. This will adequately allow time for blood-bourne diseases like HIV and Hepatitis to die. Depending on the material of your flogger, you may also consider cleaning it in a solution of one part bleach to 10 parts water and soaking it for 10 minutes. It goes without saying that floggers should not be used on more than one person within a 24-hour period, as sweat and plasma should be able to dry off them. As a Top, it is your responsibility to make sure you are providing safe and clean toys for a scene and that you inform your bottom of any inherent risks associated with your toys.

If you’re performing a scene in a public space, your sub is especially vulnerable. Most people follow proper etiquette and do not interrupt other people’s scenes, but do not assume everyone knows the rules. It is your job as Top to ensure the safety of your bottom by not allowing others to touch or speak to them without your permission. Aside from being dangerous for other people to enter a flogging scene in progress, it can really ruin the whole vibe. I was once a bottom in a scene at a fetish club and a man passed by and said, “Nice ass!” While it was a nice compliment, it would have been better if he had come up to me after the scene to tell me that. It jarred my head space, but I was happy to hear my Top berate the man for interrupting. It had the bonus of truly establishing him as the dominant one in the scene. He also took a moment to check in with me and apologize for the interruption.

Once play is over, aftercare is just as important as the warm up. Be a merciful Top and escort your bottom to a safe, warm and quiet spot to relax and come down off the endorphins. Cuddling, kissing or massaging are appropriate if needed, as well as offering them a cold drink or a bite to eat. This is a time for them to process their experience and they may feel especially vulnerable at that moment. BDSM can have a very healing effect on many people and don’t be surprised if they let go of intense baggage and start crying or expressing other strong emotions. Take the time to be supportive and this will increase your trust and intimacy levels in your relationship and for your next scene. Another common practice in BDSM etiquette is to call or visit your bottom the next day to check in on them. A quick call asking if they got home okay and are happily bruised, but not injured, goes a long way in maintaining your trust and reputation as a good Top.

The one point I did not stress is remembering to keep a sense of humor. You can never predict how a scene will go, even if you’ve played with the same person for years. Mistakes and accidents happen, but you need to keep it light-hearted. In one scene I did, I was playing quite hard with a very cheap flogger my bottom and I had bought together earlier in the day. It broke on her ass. Quite literally, the ends flew into the air and I was left holding just a handle. I broke down laughing, taking myself out of character instantly. She did not immediately know what happened, which made it even funnier to me. It was a shame because she was enjoying that toy quite a bit and it did break up the scene somewhat, but we just laughed it off and found something else to play with.

References:

“Flogging,” Joseph W. Bean, Greenery Press, USA, 2000

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